


With a Little Help From My Friends

by but love is blind (lykxxn)



Series: Old Fanfiction Posted Elsewhere [2]
Category: Merchant of Venice - Shakespeare
Genre: Eating Disorders, Gen, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, all of these are mentioned or hinted at, not graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-29 01:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3877549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lykxxn/pseuds/but%20love%20is%20blind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An old drabble previously posted on Tumblr but now being moved here because I no longer use Tumblr.<br/><br/><i>Antonio suffers from PTSD after the trial.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	With a Little Help From My Friends

The nightmares. There are tons of them, and each one ends differently. Sometimes he’s dead, sometimes he’s alive. Sometimes Bassanio tries to save him, sometimes he walks away, no emotion in his voice, no sympathy in his eyes. Antonio deals with them on his own, alone in Venice. He doesn’t want to trouble Bassanio and Portia with his pathetic fears; with his own uselessness. But Salarino and Solanio send letters. And Bassanio comes, half furious, half frightened, and takes Antonio to Belmont.

It isn’t as bad as Bassanio expected. It’s worse. Every night he’s by Antonio’s bedside, soothing him and holding him. Soft words are exchanged, and promises of protection are murmured under Bassanio’s breath as he tries to get Antonio to sleep again. 

Loud noises frighten him, and yet, Bassanio makes it known that he’s in the room. His mere presence makes Antonio at ease. There are flashbacks, many of the sort and many that give Bassanio chills just thinking about them. He doubts that he’ll ever forget the panicked expression on Antonio’s face, quickly paling to a colour beyond white, that appeared when Bassanio turned around, halfway through cutting meat. 

Antonio is burned and afraid and there is death in his eyes, even three months after being dragged off to Belmont. Sometimes Portia wakes up to blood on the tiles of the bathroom floor or a shaking man throwing up, but she tells Antonio quite firmly that it matters not; that mistakes are easily fixed, and, most importantly, he is not to blame. There are times when Antonio sits alone in front of the fire, stabbing at the coke with the poker, and for a brief moment, wishing he could shove it through his chest. Antonio is burned and afraid, yes. But not broken. 

He is not broken. 


End file.
